A year in review

As I get ready to head back to site tomorrow and prepare for the upcoming holiday, the new year, and the 2nd year of my service, I feel that now is a great time to look back at this past year; the good, the bad, and the ugly. So get ready...

Being a Peace Corps volunteer, sworn in and official, for a year now definetley seems a bit surreal. I can't believe that over 5 years ago I made up my mind that I was going to be a PCV and now 5 years later I am here. Being able to look back and realize that damn, this is a huge milestone given all the things that I had to do just to get here, leaves me to believe that we are the only ones who interfere with our goals. Yes, things can get in the way which may cause obtaining a goal a to take a little bit longer, but it can still get done, if you are willing to do the work to get it done. I'm not going to say that being here has been the easiest thing in the world, well, hell its probably been the hardest thing to do, but its getting done and i'm pretty proud of myself for sticking in there, even now when my purpose for being here seems a bit hazy.

Over this year, I have learned what works and what doesn't, how to interact with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and ways of life that I have never been able to do stateside. I have been given a deeper appreciation and admiration for my family and friends back home as they support me during this endeavour. Many tears have been shed, many smiles have been shared and at the end of the day, each and every day, i'm happy that I have made the decision that day to stay. Even at the lowest of low here, i'm still at a high because of what i'm doing, who i'm interacting with, and how I have been blessed with the ability to do it.

People come and go, some times theres a connection and sometimes there is not. Whatever the case may be, there will always be a person who comes just at the right time when they're needed the most. I came in a training group of 22, 2 of which became my closest friends in country. Due to other circumstance beyond my control(yes, my) they had to terminate their contracts early. But I have been given the two best sitemates I could ask for-Megan and Mel. These women are awesome(not saying that the other ones aren't, these 2 though are a cut above). I have other friends here that I hold close to my heart but given the circumstances and distance these two women are an arm reach away which makes for a good support system and good times. Over this year I have met some of the most awesome people I have ever met in my life, don't get me wrong they can never take the place of friends back home, but my group of non-american friends are a blessing. I can't imagine having to leave in a year and say goodbye, but I guess its not goodbye since I will see them later(I made it here once, I can make it here several more times) :) I know that a piece of my heart will be left here in Malawi and i'm quite ok with that.

This has been a crash course on life. What I want out of it, What i'm willing to do, and how hard i'm willing to work for it. Beside a very brief stint in Ecuador, this is the most extensive time that I have been out of the states. At first I thought I would return to the states and do community development, but something about seeing the beauty of an unknown place, the anxiety and excitement that comes with being new and foreign, the challenges, the discoveries are all reasons why i'm attracted to international community development. I plan on travelling the world, doing what i'm passionate about, and being able to experience these feelings over and over again. My projects here have given me a taste, a good taste, of all that i'm capable of, all the my community is capable, all that a global community can do if they work together. Magic happens(not bad magic) when people work together and I can't help but think that I may be the glue to get people together.

These past two months have been a whirlwind of activities. It seemed non-stop and never ending. They have shown me that a) i'm a workaholic b) that when I want something I don't stop until I get it c) I need to organize and compartmentalize my life in a manner that keeps me from burning out. There's so much I want to do, so much I want to see, people I want to soak up time with, but if its not balanced in a manner that enough of each is given to satisfy the want then a level of unhappiness is going to creep in. I'm still trying to figure out this balance, but I feel that in the new year I will be able to do a better job at the balancing act.

Regardless(or in my case irregardless, but i've been told that its incorrect english...who cares its my world and i'll speak my language) of the situation, of the experience, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I will walk away from this experience with the hugest smile on my face and tears in my eyes for i'm truly happy that I have been able to be here, doing this, and going through the motions of life at my own place, in my own space, simply being me, free, in love and loved. This my friend, is a pretty good place to be at in life and I know that it will only get better from here.